An Autobiography of a Nun - A Review..

An Autobiography of a Nun.... One of the most controversial books of the Catholic Church. It tells you about the facts that happen inside the four walls of a Convent. My first reaction when I saw the book at CrossWords was like, "Wow.. Now this is something to read.. Let's see what it has that i would not know". It had much much more than I could ever think about. It speaks about Priests being involved in sexual practices with nuns. It tells you about how nuns are discriminated withing the convent. Have you ever heard of a High Class nun and Low Class Nun? I mean common.. Stop insulting the Profession of God. Even today donations are taken in the name of Education.. Damn it.. Just because others do it, does not mean that we should also do it. We understand that we need money to run institutions and develop institutions, but please stop forcing the students to give it... We have all rights to ask for donors and we know we will get them. Ruining education at the expense of Money should be considered as one of the biggest crime in India.. That is why we are not improving. There is much much more in this book which says about how a nun who wanted to oppose these things was troubled and how so called officials tried to prove her as a mentally unstable person. I can only write and ponder.. But I'm looking for an appropriate answer to all my questions. Is there anyone here who can give me an answer???

Lost But Found... Strayed away But got back..

It's been a long time.... I was lost but now I've been found.. I had strayed but now I've got back... Lots of games (Thanks to facebook) and loads of work (thanks to office)... Time just got out of hand.... Sometimes I think what is more important. But just cannot figure it out. How is it that I do not do what I want to.. But i feel happy with what I'm doing... I know it sounds confusing but it always happens. Things go from good to bad and from bad to worse. But at the end of it all there's always something that I've learned. A lesson that makes you think, makes you ponder, makes you visualize things the way you would have never done before. I sometimes think WTF am I doing but then I always say to myself that what 'm doing is What I Am and What I want to Be...

Want to Get Back.... I really miss those times....

Hey guys. It's time that I face it. No matter how much i try to run or try to be away from, I just cannot. Everytime I'm depressed, just the thought makes me feel so good. I sometimes think that what I did earlier was wrong and stop from moving ahead. But the feeling of not being there when really needed kills me from within. I think i will get back... Before it's too late... Just cant stay away..

The One

I was walking down the road,
And found my life had no trace.
Till I came across this mode,
Where I saw a sweet little face.

Those mysterious eyes stared at me,
Her face dripped with innocence.
Thought it would be she,
Who could get me out of the fence.

Just as I could see you,
In time you slipped away.
There wasn’t any talking to you,
Inside me I had something to say.

I wrote this one for you,
Of all the things I could do.
I could feel the presence of you,
No matter what I went through.

I close my eyes when I get to sad,
Close my eyes and I count to ten.
And just when I think I'm getting mad,
I can feel you next to me then.

You were the one who gave me life,
You were there and I felt warm.
And as I was about to strive,
You just kept me numb.

I want you to be there,
When things will change.
We would always be together,
And never get estranged

Inside of Me

To the world and back I go,

Not knowing what I should know.

In the boat of life I row,

Through rivers and hailing snow.

My strength these people ask,

They don’t know who I am.

Right from dawn to dusk,

All of them just give me a damn.

Caught in a section,

Where the words are made of steel.

My life seeks redemption,

There’s nothing left in me to feel.

Far across a distance,

I can see the vision.

It’s telling me of the menace,

I’m stuck in all its dimensions.

I know I’ve been this way,

For all the things I have seen.

In me I have something to say,

That’s just how I have been.

There’s nothing much left in me,

As I can see myself drown.

After all what I have,

Is just the thorn in my crown.

When I reach my end,

I can see a fading light.

It looks like someone’s send,

A help for me to fight.

When I get my time,

I’ll put my head to rest.

I’ll just keep walking,

Inside of me again.

Mumbai at War

All of you guys must have heard about all the stuff going on in Mumbai. Cowards creating terror at the risk of innocent lives. When I was young, I never knew what terror was. It all started at the age of 8. At that time too the riots of 1992 and the blasts of 1993 did not have an effect. I still remember on the ground floor of the quarters we lived in were 2 families. A Hindu family and a Muslim family and I just asked, "Aap dono kyun nahi jagad rahe ho?". And my aunts just looked at me. One of them just said, " Beta, Humme kisise nahi jagadna. Hum sabhi yahi ke hai." I just felt ashamed and went back. After that came all the blasts in the buses and taxis. And then came the dreadful July Train Blasts. I was 21 then. A full grown youth studying in an hostel and could not even connect to my parents. I knew that dad and mom travel thesame route. Dad would travel late. But mom would travel around the same time. I did not know what to do. I just wanted to talk to them. I wanted to hear them. I tried connecting to dad. I tried connecting to mom. I even called my landline number. But to no avail. Nothing was getting connected. I tried the whole night. Right uptil midnight. And finally i got to speak to mom and she told me that even dad's fine. That was the time terrorism actually sunk in. I was scared. For the first time. I had felt it in me. Something inside told me what it is and what it can do.
And here I am writing today. 50 hours after the terror attacks all over Mumbai. I asked myself why? At the cost of whom? Who is responsible? Loads of questions flashed into my mind. I had no answer. I was on my way home when i heard the news. I thought of landing home after a couple of drinks. At the bar there were different people. 2 young guys just drinking anf fooling about how useless the Indian security is. 2 old men who were regulars and seemed to be entirely lost in the news. 1 guy even got a call from home. And I was sitting there, with all the questions flashing my mind again and again and again. And then i cursed the politicians. Why on earth are they like this? Why dont they do something? Cursed them the whole night and went to work the next day. The bus was empty. My card playing partners had skipped work to remain safe. But i did not. I was on my way. What made me do that? Why did I not think about staying at home? But I did not want too. I wanted to prove to all the terrorists that I'm not scared. Was it my arrongance? No. Was it the love for India? Could be. Was it just something stupid? Could very much be. But I did it bravely.
What I want to say here is simple. They are doing shit to us. And we just get back to our simple lives. It just does not matter. There is something missing. Something.....